Growing up in Grand Rapids, MI, I learned my manners at the table, in gift giving, and in polite conversation.  To be respectable midwestern citizen, I learned “how to be nice”.  In moving to Los Angeles for seminary at age 22, where everyone is in therapy, I began to learn more about my family system and styles of relationship.  Over the last 30+ years in my clinical training, continued therapy, spiritual direction, and the ups and downs of relationships, I have learned now how to be honest.

Spending years at the bedside with patients and families in the emergency department and intensive care units, I now report, “I am always kind, but never nice”.

Kindness delivers truth with compassion and empathy.  In receiving “nice-ness” one feels the uncertainty whether someone is being honest or covering up the truth.  I would rather have the truth upfront rather than spin my wheels trying to figure out what you are really trying to convey.   

It takes more courage to be honest than it does to pretend.  If you love me, rip off the band aid.  If you hate me, make me figure out if I am actually wearing a band aid and then make me suffer one pull and tug at a time.

I learned as a child when receiving a gift to be smiley and to lie about my love for it; as an adult I know inform, “I love gifts that I can eat, drink, and invest”.  I confess, I am not really a physical gift giver as much as a relationship investor.  I love going out for coffee and for dinner or traveling to an amazing place, making memories.  I want to invest in experiences, not stuff.  (Cash is, however, always welcome.)

Practicing kindness allows us to foster deep genuine connections with each other.  I want the friends who tell me, “spinach in the teeth” rather than walking around smiling wondering why people are looking at me weird.  I want a circle of truth tellers who lovingly cheer me and gently redirect me when I may be going off-line.

Practicing nice-ness, we do not ask for what we really need.  Being nice does not convey honest and crucial feedback.  It only overcompensates for others behaviors, not allowing them to take responsibility.  Kind honesty speaks our spiritual and emotional truths (also good for our 5th chakra).  Niceness stuffs down our feelings, only allowing them to continue to build and build over time.  This is how a snowflake becomes a snowball.  It is why in a disagreement people share frustrations from 9 years ago.  What?  What does something from so long ago have to do with what happened today?

When people act kindly, the brain releases a hormone called oxytocin that dampens fear and anxiety activity in the amygdala.  Ever felt less stressed from helping others?  It’s the calming effects of oxytocin reducing cortisol, the stress hormone that triggers a fight-or-flight response.  Oxytocin also helps to keep our hearts strong and healthy by reducing blood pressure. So offering kindness actually helps us too.

Kindness is a verb. If you don’t care, go ahead, be nice and walk away.  If you actually care, be kind, stand firm, speak your truth, say the hard things, work out the hard stuff, speak from your heart, honor yourself, build trust, make the memories, and transform lives.

The transition to the 5th dimensional being of love and connectedness involves letting go of old patterns, beliefs, and attachments that no longer serve our highest good. This process of releasing can be challenging, as it involves confronting and overcoming deeply ingrained habits and thought patterns.

How are we able to receive new ideas, new joy, new love, and new possibilities if our hands and hearts are so full of old stuff that no longer serve us.  The best image of this is meeting someone who his holding out a special gift for us so carefully and thoughtfully planned, but we are not able to receive it or even reach out our hands because we are clinging on to the past.  Sometimes we need to put some things down in order to embrace something new.

Spring cleaning that sweeps away the cob webs, wipes the dirts and grime, and organizes the closets brings images of cartoon sparkles to our hearts and minds.  Clean sparkles and gleaming new life.  Imagine a world full of people with open hearts and minds able to receive new teaching and experiences.  Imagine a world where people have open hands and hearts and minds to receive no longer carrying weight from the past.

There is a reason the theme song for the movie “Frozen” is “Let it Go”.  Instead to proclaiming “chill out, dude”, we may need to recommend, “Thaw out, dude”!

Here is a top 10 list of things to release in your process of spiritual growth:

1. Forgiveness allows us to release the person or event renting space in our energy. You know the truth, “Holding anger and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”.  When we forgive, we are not doing it for the other person, we  doing it for ourselves.

2. Relinquish control of others, realizing everyone is on their own path. Winning arguments or convincing people only serves to feed our ego and alienate others.

3. Let go of a plan for an expected outcome.  Sometimes the best memories emerge when we allow Spirit and others to surpass our dreams.

4. Release your limits in thinking, "I could never do or accomplish that!" If you have a dream or idea, believe that it was given for you to explore and to enjoy.

5. You have permission to get rid of Mom’s gelatin mold, Dad’s tackle box, and grandma’s cook book.  Recipes are now on the internet; the metal box is super heavy; when is the last time you made gelatin.  Take a picture to keep the memory; donate the stuff to charity; sell and re-home the stuff to pay for your dream vacation.

6. Be free from what other people think.  You were specially created to have earth lessons and to share your unique gifts.  Follow your dreams, not someone else’s.

7. No more shame or guilt.  Did you mess up?   Even in golf there is such a thing as a “mulligan”, a “do over”.   Learn the lesson; learn it once; maybe learn it 3x.  Celebrate the win of learning.  You got what you needed from it.  Move on.

8. AA is right, “Accept the things you cannot change.”  Get the beauty rest we all need and surrender “what could have been”.  Spend time dreaming of today and your future hopes and dreams.

9. Release the fears & do what scares you.  Most fears fill us with doubt and “what ifs”. The more we get out of your comfort zone, the more fear will subside.

10. No more staying small - share with others what you’re thinking/feeling. Communicate with others what works for you and doesn’t work for you. Expressing yourself is an important part of authenticity and integrity.

The story of two wolves is a Cherokee Indian legend illustrating the most important battle of our lives―the one between good and bad within us:

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.  “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”  The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”  The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

What are we allowing and affirming?  Are we allowing fear to rattle around or are we able to surrender and profess, “I am an easy & open conduit for your Divine prosperity”.

Surrendering is not just about releasing; it is recognizing we also do not something that is toxic and poison in us to linger and grow.

Whatever the negative feeling or thought, we are invited to reverse and invert it with an affirmation.  We are asked to grow and to feed our highest good.  It is leaving the path that is not in our highest good for another avenue of peace and ease.  We create our reality.  If we are being faced with disrespect and condescension of a narcissist, affirm your own value, “I deserve love, trust, and peace in my life.”

Just because we have negative and lower vibrational thoughts about ourselves and circumstances, it does not mean they are true. Just as we know that higher value proteins and vegetables are better fuel for our journey, positive affirmations fuel our momentum for spiritual and emotional growth.  By saying affirmations and practicing self-compassion, we gain confidence and shape life in the direction we want it to go.

Spiritual commentators and leaders - not religious - have been talking about the process of spiritual ascension as the elevation of human consciousness to a higher dimension of awareness.  We are being asked to open our hearts to greater unity and peace in this time at a rapid pace.  The Age of Aquarius is not not a fabulous 60’s single, it is a shift impacting our spiritual journeys and communities beyond our egos and care for one another and the planet.

3D consciousness views things from a purely physical state. You are seen as an individual separate from others.  Life feels like “the survival of the fittest” and we are fearful about missing out or not having enough.  Life is a competition and there is not enough for everyone…so some people have to miss out.

4th Dimensional consciousness begins to awaken to the idea that we are all connected and there is more to life than what meets the physical eye.  Duality and the idea of good and bad is still experienced, but there is more compassion and understanding behind it. There is a desire to pay attention to how our actions effect people and environments around us.  There is a stronger desire to find our purpose and to follow our passions. Seeking deeper meaning we begin to see magic and synchronicities of the Divine in the Universe

The 5th Dimension is characterized by a shift in perception, where individuals are able to perceive and experience realities beyond the limitations of the physical world. Described in mystery literature our body, mind, and emotions move beyond the constraints of linear time and space to create miracles beyond our understanding of physics.  In the context of spirituality, the 5th Dimension is considered a realm of higher vibrational frequency, where individuals experience a heightened sense of unity, love, and interconnectivity.

The concept of the 5th dimension is not based on scientific evidence, but rather on spiritual and metaphysical beliefs and experiences.  There is currently no empirical evidence to support the existence of a fifth dimension.  Yet, quantum physics points to magic of particles and waves that defy the laws of nature we currently espouse.  It is about imagining a world in its highest possibilities for the highest good for all.

True humility isn't about pretending we are worth less than another. True humility requires recognizing who and how valuable we are.  We all have have a role to play in lighting up the world.  We have the power to lift someone up or push them down with our actions and words.   

We are NOT just invited to participate in God's mission of healing and reconciling, it is what we were born for!  Staying small serves no one and nothing but the status quo.  Staying small is safe and actually a bit selfish.

True humility doesn't shirk power.  True humility requires claiming power.  We are about something larger than ourselves.  We are most fully ourselves when we are most fully engaged in God's mission.

When we claim our power, we CREATE real value.  "Creativity" is a powerful word. This kind of creativity is what it means to be made in the image of the Divine.  Our personal power is the power of creativity.  True humility calls us to recognize the worth of every other person. If our power is God's creative power, then we have the power to change the world in the service of every human being.

People ask & worry & search the question, ”What is my purpose?”  I sense that the details of our purpose can change over the years and seasons of our growth and lessons.  We can have big and small purpose.  We can be asked to live in a place for a time — we can be tasked for big projects.  But who we are in the midst of the process of that creation becomes the transformation linch pin.  True humility serves to empower.  Ego serves to disempower and to control.

The world needs the strength of your humility to empower others for everyone’s highest good.  Each time we help another, we are truly empowering ourselves to live in a world free of suffering and control.

The awakening process of spiritual growth is often described as a journey of self-discovery tapping into inner wisdom.  It is about gaining deeper understanding of the infinite Divine that shifts our consciousness to perceive the world not from fear and scarcity, but from a place of love and unity.

These dimensional changes are NOT about a physical place, but a state of increased love and a feeling of safe - no matter the circumstances.   It is about opening  ourselves up to a world of infinite possibilities and connections.

Here are the top 10 signs you may be awakening spiritually:

1. You feel disconnected or detached from the things and people you used to enjoy.

2. Your relationships shift.  Loved ones no longer seem to understand you as your priorities change.  Long relationships ends.

3. You experience more synchronicities and déjà vu.  You may have just been thinking about someone and they call or you see them in a random place.

4. The desire to find meaning and fulfillment becomes one of your biggest priorities.

5. More intuitive, you feel much more in tune with yourself and others and “know” what to do in complex situations.

6. You can sense inauthenticity, manipulation, and lies.

7. Material things or competing for social status no longer has meaning as it does not bring long-lasting happiness.

8. Along with heightened awareness and senses, sleep disturbances are common, especially waking up between 2-4am.

9. There's a sudden change in your habits and routine.  You may find lack of interest in smoking, drinking, or sugar while craving things that nourish you.

10. You feel more connected to the world around you.  The prevalence of suffering becomes impossible to ignore. You can show more understanding toward difficult people seeing past their behavior and feel their wounds and traumas. 

Divine beloved I now give with ease and complete abundance knowing you are the unlimited source of all that I am.

I am an easy & open conduit for your prosperity.

I now trust that all of my own needs are always met in amazing ways.

It is safe to give freely as my heart guides.

And equally, I now feel wildly open to receiving.

I know my own beauty, value, and worthiness without question.

I now allow others the supreme pleasure of giving to me.

I feel worthy to receive in every possible way.

I am one who can fully love, forgive, and accept myself so that I may carry your light without restriction.

I let everything that needs to go, go.

I let everything that is coming arrive at this moment.

I am utterly your own.

I am you!  You are me.  We are one!

All is well with gratitude and love.   Amen and so it is.

One of my favorite spiritual scenes in a movie appears in the DC Comics release of Wonder Woman, staring the Israeli actress, singer, martial artist, Gal Gadot.  Before leaving the island where she grew up, she took a sword locked up in a tower to help in her battle to save humanity known to her people as “The GOD Sword”.

Once protected as a princess in a violent battle with her nemesis, the metal is shattered.  She despairs, no longer knowing how to engage, to overcome, and to defeat the darkness.  The nemesis pauses, realizing she does not know a truth about herself and declares, “The sword never had any power.  YOU are the God Sword”.

Recognizing this within herself - her strength - her will - her imagination expands beyond what she could have ever to have believed to be possible.  She was the power all along.  Imagine waking up from delusion and being awakened into believing in ourselves.  What may it be to know with every atom within us that the light of the Divine and the creative power of the Divine Creator is within us.   

What would it be that our preparations, searching, and spiritual growth is about increasing our radiance through Divine Connection and Conversation?  What could it be if we believed that Divine light glows within us.  What would be possible if we as a community gathered like stars to be the light to glow in the dark!  Not just as stars on the ceilings of our bedrooms, but a people energized and charged for healing and transformation.

May we Always BE prepared to be and to receive the source of light and power that can make this miracle happen.   

One of my favorite spiritual scenes in a movie appears in the DC Comics release of Wonder Woman, staring the Israeli actress, singer, martial artist, Gal Gadot.  Before leaving the island where she grew up, she took a sword locked up in a tower to help in her battle to save humanity known to her people as “The GOD Sword”.

Once protected as a princess in a violent battle with her nemesis, the metal is shattered.  She despairs, no longer knowing how to engage, to overcome, and to defeat the darkness.  The nemesis pauses, realizing she does not know a truth about herself and declares, “The sword never had any power.  YOU are the God Sword”.

Recognizing this within herself - her strength - her will - her imagination expands beyond what she could have ever to have believed to be possible.  She was the power all along.  Imagine waking up from delusion and being awakened into believing in ourselves.  What may it be to know with every atom within us that the light of the Divine and the creative power of the Divine Creator is within us.   

What would it be that our preparations, searching, and spiritual growth is about increasing our radiance through Divine Connection and Conversation?  What could it be if we believed that Divine light glows within us.  What would be possible if we as a community gathered like stars to be the light to glow in the dark!  Not just as stars on the ceilings of our bedrooms, but a people energized and charged for healing and transformation.

May we Always BE prepared to be and to receive the source of light and power that can make this miracle happen.   

Best known for developing the theory of relativity, Albert Einstein also made important contributions to quantum mechanics.  One of his most famous quotes proclaims, “Everything is energy”.  Was he speaking literally, philosophically, or metaphorically? Yes!  He meant that all matter in the universe contains energy and energy itself cannot be created or destroyed – it just changes form.  He is also quoted, “The more I study science, the more I believe in God.”

Nikola Tesla is known for his contributions to the design of the modern alternating current and electricity supply system.  He attempted to develop a wireless lighting system and conducted a series of public demonstrations in the late19th C where he lit Geissler tubes and even incandescent light bulbs from across a stage.  From the 1890s through 1906, Tesla strove to develop the transmission of electrical power without wires. A genius far ahead of his time and ours today, he proclaimed, “If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.”

Everything is energy.  Some particles are faster or slower moving.  We too are connected by a system of communication a system of energy.  We are part of the energy of Creation that flows through and all around us.  We are a physical BODY, a neurological MIND, and a conscious SPIRIT.

Our greatest strength is SPIRIT. The world’s greatest strength is the Divine spark and Spirit in YOU.  Now with wifi, we are able to send signals around the world in emails and texts in a matter of seconds.  If plants and trees are able to listen in on their neighbors, sending signals to prepare for future growth, how much more are we empowered to shift energy and grow Divine Spirit among us.

If everything is energy, it means we are interconnected with Creation and to one another.  The energy within you is the same energy within me. We’re all part of the same quantum field.  We just happen to be created to express the diversity of the Divine itself in different ways.

Thoughts both positive and negative are also energy.  Unfortunately, both can shape our reality.  Both are forms of creativity.  The Law of Attraction says, “Where you put your focus is where the energy will flow”.  When we send love, others feel the bouyant effects, helping them be their best selves.  When we are stuck in anger or judgement at another, they feel what we are sending their way.

We have the power to shape our own reality by connecting with the highest Divine Spirit and source of unlimited energy.  May we seek to be the best vessels to receive and transmit energy for the highest good for ourselves and all we meet.

“A diamond is forever” (DeBeers, 1948)

“It’s the real thing!” (Coca Cola, 1969)

“Have it your way.” (Burger King, 1973)

“Quality never goes out of style.” (Levi’s, 1985)

“The best a man can get” (Gillette, 1989)

“Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s Maybelline.” (Maybelline, 1991)

“Got Milk?” (California Milk Processor Board, 1993)

“Just do it.” (Nike, 1987)

“Because I’m worth it” (L’Oreal, 1973)

“The Power of Dreams” (Honda, 2001)

These are some of the top most memorable 40 advertising slogans.  If we let ourselves belief, it would seem to suggest that peace, nurture, inspiration, dreams, comfort, bliss, perfection, beauty, and joy are just a few sips, brushes, shaves, drives, and bites away.

Advertising slogans are large part of a bigger marketing strategy for companies.  Some are more recognizable and offer more effective recall than mere brand names.  Advertising slogans are created for differentiation - setting one apart from competition.

What are the slogans we may create and affirm as part of spiritual journeys?  How may we be transformed if we did?  What may it be for us if we set aside some time to reflect on how we may be more singularly focused on our relationship with the Divine?  If our spiritual journeys were expressions on a t-shirt what might they declare?

	“Love is forever.”

	“Divine Source is the real thing.”

	“Not your way; OUR way.”

	“Truth and authenticity never goes out of style.”

	“Wishing you the highest good you can get.”

	“Yep, I was born with it. And now I practice every day.”

	“Got meditation?”

	“The BE’er in me recognizes the BE’er in you.”

	“Busy affirming that I am indeed worth it.”

“Shhh…I am busy dreaming.”

As Americans we are indeed very good DOERS.  It makes us to feel good to be of use, of service, and of care to others.  It helps us keep the energy of walking in the path.

We have banners in around our building that proclaim, “Be the Church”.  They do NOT say “run around so much that you cannot hear what I am saying”.

It is so hard for us Do’ers to find the light of BEING. Many of us did not enjoy the Covid pandemic decrease to shelter in place.  It was a lonely, boring disruption to our joyful, communal activities. But the most loving thing to do was to slow down from being a DO’er of the light and become a BE’er of the light.

Be’ing encourages us to slow, to pray, and to meditate more.  Prayer is about talking to God and lifting up our hearts.  Meditation is then shutting up to listen.  So we are asked to pray and meditate. Ever talk to someone at a party and think, “Will they ever shut up?”  I can imagine God thinking, “Thank goodness they are finally being quiet…I have been waiting and waiting to speak”

Instead of doing, may we stop and focus our attention to the light around us in the blessings.  Instead of doing, perhaps recall and write down those things, those people, those events that have shaped us and supported us.  May we BE in gratitude!

Part of spiritual growth and expansion is embracing the journey of listening to the voice of the Divine in the stillness and in the silence.  We are so good at DO’ing light.  Remember our Kindergarten teachers.  Whenever we got ready to make a shift in class, they would stop, put a finger to their lips, and invite us, “Shhhh…listen”.

May we BE so filled with light,

that we will not BE moved in fear.

Instead, in our peace BElieve

we will BE able to listen and to hear.

May we BEgin to create new avenues

and discover new ways to BEcome the person

we were created to BE.

There is growing scientific proof that plants and trees talk with each other.  In an unlikely publishing sensation the tree whisperer, Peter Wohlleben, A German forester and author, in his book “The Hidden Life of Trees: What They Feel, How They Communicate” shares that the latest scientific studies. Trees are far more alert, social, sophisticated—and even intelligent—than we thought.

A 2018 Smithsonian article reflecting on this book confirms that “we have generally thought of trees as striving, disconnected loners, competing for water, nutrients and sunlight, with the winners shading out the losers and sucking them dry”. The timber industry in particular sees forests as wood-producing systems and battlegrounds for survival of the fittest.  There is now a substantial body of scientific evidence that refutes this idea. Trees of the same species are communal and often form alliances with trees of other species.  Forest trees live in cooperative, interdependent relationships, maintained by communication and a collective intelligence similar to an insect colony.

“Some are calling it the ‘wood-wide web,’” says Wohlleben. “All the trees here, and in every forest that is not too damaged, are connected to each other through underground fungal networks.  Trees share water and nutrients through the networks, and also use them to communicate.  Researchers noted vibrations occur in a tree trunk when the flow of water from the roots to the leaves is interrupted. They send distress signals about drought and disease, for example, or insect attacks, and other trees alter their behavior when they receive these messages.

It is the Divine intention for all of us on earth to live in the highest vibration of the highest God.  It is Divine intent that we live happy, healthy, and vibrant lives - uplifting, supporting, communicating, and sharing each each other’s joys and burdens.   It is in our uplifting, supporting, communicating, and sharing that we grow quality life.  As a gathered family of Spirit-filled energy shifting and transferring and transforming people when one is low the others step forward with seeds to inspire and to guide.  When one of us is growing, but wavering, others step forward to water, to encourage, to feed, and to listen.  Together we are purposing for the greatest flow and sharing and communication of love so that by sharing ups and downs - the depths are not deep, dark, valleys & the joy is not fleeting but shared.

We cannot stop planting - we cannot stop watering. It is about what it means to cultivate our network of communication, sharing, and growing as flesh people filled with Spirit and energy to be shared - like trees in a forest - each of us may be growing separately, but together we uphold one another into a mighty, vibrating, chorus of voices growing in praise.  Be a tree!